Oh boy. It blindsides one at the oddest times. Like while pressing the coffee this morning. Perhaps because that would be a time when he and I would be alone in the quiet for a while.
Thank goodness the vet agreed to come to the house Tuesday. No fearful trembling in recognition of the destination as we would drive up to the vet's office during our many trips over the last few months. No cold stainless steel exam table. Instead, lying on my lap as we sat on the couch, his head, so small, cradled in my palm, my thumb rubbing his ear. And just gently, quietly going to sleep. Peace for him. A thunderbolt of emotion for Hilda and I. Relays short-circuited, contacts burnt, wires sputtering and smoking - nothing much constructive happening around here since.
Except for the recognition that we have a deep well of potential love building up, soon likely to be released on some unsuspecting pup.